New Teachers: Give Yourself the Grace to Grow

Mistakes are part of the learning process, and every risk taken in teaching can lead to powerful, lasting growth.

DR. JEN GOWERS
Instructional Specialist

I just had one of the greatest honors a coach can experience: I was invited to sit next to a first-year teacher, Jeshley, as she cried in the school’s back stairwell. 
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The seeds of growth are in moments like these: the absolute muck of that first year is essential to it. Let’s consider caterpillars: as my daughter recounted to me at the ripe old age of three, “Mama, did you know caterpillars break every bone in their body in order to become butterflies?” Truly, I didn’t, that is not how I was taught about butterflies. And I honestly hadn’t thought much about how painstaking transformation might be in the chrysalis. I thought, maybe like many of us, of the beautiful and incredible transformation this creature makes, thinking little about the becoming. But it simply wouldn’t transform without that bone-breaking part. 

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Leaning into the beauty of learning

Jeshley started sharing her own “broken bones” through her tears: although she was successful in past experiences that led her to teaching, now that she was a teacher she didn’t even feel successful, much less that she was mastering her first year, as she had very much hoped to do. I let her know that mastering teaching in your first year isn’t a thing — that I am here in year 20, and I still make mistakes all the time. It’s part of learning. It’s actually built into the profession: you get to learn for the rest of your life, which means you’re always going to make mistakes, which means you’re always going to grow. 

And as she continued sharing, I was reminded of something I am still learning myself: when we get these painful, breaking open opportunities, we can slow our growth by not accepting ourselves or by refusing to give ourselves grace.

For Jeshley, she experienced prior successes as a swim instructor, sharing with me how, although she didn’t have the fundamentals of pedagogy, she went with what students needed in the moment, met them where they were, and worked with each of them on the skill they most needed on their journey to becoming a strong swimmer. Yet, she then immediately challenged that smart, helpful narrative with her current feeling of overwhelm and ineffectiveness now that content and curriculum were at play.

She was telling herself that she wasn’t good enough at classroom teaching. She was even able to name it: “I put stress on myself to be excellent at all times, and I put myself down whenever I struggle.” If we shame ourselves for struggling, we can actively slow our growth through the learning opportunity. We know this from observing students. So I said, “Jeshley, would you ever talk to a young person the way you’re talking to yourself?”
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She not only said no, but she told me a story of how she had just recently spoken to a struggling student about how beautiful it is to make mistakes. It usually means you took a risk, and risking is essential to growth, because you begin to stretch beyond your current capabilities. She noted that risking when you don’t yet know what you’re doing may look and feel scary or shaky, but really, you’re just growing. She said, “I let my students know that you can’t possibly know everything. That once you do, you’re done — there’s no more opportunity to grow. I meet them where they are, but I encourage them to take risks, and when they do, their vulnerability becomes their strength.” She looked up at me and said, “I know I need to have that same compassion with myself because I am growing too.” She let me give her a hug.

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When I saw Jeshley the next week, she had a big smile and something to show me. Tucked inside the back of her planner, she had a picture of young Jeshley, smiling up at us. She said she started carrying it to remind her that her current self talk has to be of the tone and tenor that would uplift her younger self.

She also recounted the things she is telling herself, that she’d like to tell to all new teachers:

I am more human when I make mistakes. 

Making mistakes means I am taking risks.

Taking risks means I have the chance to grow.

When I have the chance to grow, I need to be kind to myself.

Being kind to myself means I give myself the grace to grow.
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I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the importance of Jeshley’s school — she shared that she feels very fortunate to be paired at MS 50, a community school in South Williamsburg, Brooklyn. She says the families, the students, her colleagues and her school leaders are top notch and she loves being part of the incredible MS 50 community. Finding a school like this one, whose leaders invest in teachers and their growth, is an essential element to new folks like Jeshley feeling safe to risk, and able to give herself grace (and therefore, to grow.) 

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