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5/20/2024

Conversations with Pride

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Possibilities for encouraging inclusive discussions and perspectives in the classroom. 
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LAUREN MIDGETTE
Lead Professional Development Coach
​

We are a prideful household. We’ve marched in Pride Parades and have enjoyed Drag Queen Storytime. We have a rainbow flag displayed in our front yard, and my kiddo knows that every person is unique and beautiful. My partner and I have made intentional decisions, and sometimes, we have faced adverse reactions. For example, when my child was six months old, I posted on social media a new book I purchased for our library in honor of Pride Month: The GayBCs by M. L. Webb. I immediately received some “feedback,” mostly different ways to say my kiddo was too young to learn about “gayness.”

This is not dissimilar to some of the comments I received as an educator.

In an effort to ensure my curriculum was inclusive, I had parents contact me concerned that reading a text with gay characters would give their students “ideas.” Because of these experiences, I am no stranger in attempting to both quell concerns and challenge some of the hurtful stereotypes and assumptions about sexuality. Below, you will find example responses to some of these comments, but also a list of texts that I have used to encourage positive conversations that allow students to consider how they create more welcoming and affirming spaces. 

When the conversation starts with a hurtful comment

​"You don’t know if [so and so] will be gay." 
You’re right, I don't. But right now, they have gay friends, neighbors, community members, and I believe that we should recognize the inherent worth and dignity of every person. I want our community members to know they are loved for who they are and not "in spite of" being different. 


“You’re going to turn [so and so] gay.”
I assume the person asking this is heterosexual, and so I begin with a question: How did you know you were straight? The usual answer is, "I don't know, I just knew." I follow up with, Do you think someone could make you change your sexual orientation? Usually, they respond with no. 

If they take into consideration that they “just knew” they were heterosexual and they don’t think someone or something could make them change their mind, then what makes them think people who aren’t heterosexual learn it? Sometimes it might take someone a bit of time to figure out who they are attracted to (if anyone at all for that matter), and that is okay.


“They don’t need to learn about sexual orientation at a young age.”
I always find this comment a bit funny; I wonder if the people who make this comment realize that heterosexuality is a sexual orientation! When it comes to a man and woman being in love, kids see representations of this everywhere: books, television shows, and other forms of media. They learn that a man and a woman can love each other, so why can’t they learn that humans are capable of loving outside of this binary? 


“It’s not important to learn these terms so young.”
On the contrary. If my child is a part of the LGBTQIA+ community, having the language and confidence to express who they are and who they love from an early age can decrease feelings of estrangement, and providing them with the language at an early age assures me that they can talk about who they are with pride at any time in their life. If they are heterosexual and cisgender, they will need this language to advocate for their LGBTQIA+ community members because as I said before, we are a prideful household.

When the conversation starts with you

​If you’re a parent or an educator looking for ways to diversify your library and start some inclusive conversations, here are some books I recommend as a mom and a teacher:
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We Are Little Feminists: Families
​by Archaa Shrivastav 

“Beautiful, full-color photos of real-life LGBTQ and ally families showcase all the wonderful forms of family, gender, and sexuality in this fun and award-winning board book.”

There is also a discussion guide created by Little Feminists that you can download here.
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The GayBCs
​by M. L. Webb

In this joyful and timely book of ABCs, four friends play and explore during a playdate extravaganza. As they sashay out of closets and discover a wardrobe fit for kings and queens, they realize that may problems can be solved with a little makeup, imagination, and, of course, your best friends!

​
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Uncle Bobby's Wedding
​by Sarah S. Brannen and illustrated by Lucia Soto

Chloe's favorite uncle is getting married, and she's not happy about it. But after a magical day with Uncle Bobby and his boyfriend, Jamie, Chloe realizes she's not losing an uncle, but gaining one.


​
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Mommy, Mama, and Me
​by Leslea Newman and illustrated by Carol Thompson

Rhythmic text and illustrations with universal appeal show a toddler spending the day with its mommies. From hide-and-seek to dress-up, then bath time and a kiss goodnight, there's no limit to what a loving family can do together.


​
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Am I Blue? Coming Out from the Silence
​by Marion Dane Bauer and illustrated by Beck Underwood

Each of these stories is original, each is by a noted author for young adults, and each honestly portrays its subject and theme--growing up gay or lesbian, or with gay or lesbian parents or friends.


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Gwen & Art Are Not in Love: A Novel
​by Lex Croucher

It’s been hundreds of years since King Arthur’s reign. His descendant, Arthur, a future Lord and general gadabout, has been betrothed to Gwendoline, the quick-witted, short-tempered princess of England, since birth. The only thing they can agree on is that they despise each other….as things heat up at the annual royal tournament, Gwen is swept off her feet by her knight and Arthur takes an interest in Gwen's royal brother.

​At the end of the day, our goal is to create welcoming spaces, whether that’s at home or classroom, for all. This article offers resources and ways to introduce inclusive language particularly for young children, and those conversations can mature and gain complexity alongside them to reflect even more nuance. I do recognize that this post doesn’t even touch upon the gender spectrum, transgender folx, and the many different ways people love. But it’s a start.

Let’s learn together, taking the steps we need to make our world a more inclusive place.
​
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INTERROGATING CHATGPT & CRSE
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AFFIRMING DIVERSE IDENTITIES
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CREATING SPACE FOR RACE
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